text this
11:59 p.m. | 2006-02-07
I love how getting online to pay your bills turns into two games of hearts and updating on fackbook. Since it's almost been about a month since I took the time to bitch in here, I should update.
So there was a new guy on the block, with some potential, but that fizzled after 90 text messages of "whaz up". He never made an effort to shell out so that I wouldnt feel so bad about putting out. So I never put out, and we havent seen each other in about two weeks, despite the number of parties and clubs I have visited. Things are about the same with Drew. Still texting, and doing absolutely nothing. My peace corps friend made it clear to me that I shouldnt feed this nonsense any longer. It's costing me money and time, and driving me up a tree.
It's just that without the little stuff, I have absolutely nothing to feel special about, which sucks for this month. I cant stand working during February since every hot guy in the city with a girl (which is pretty much all of them) comes to my store to buy gifts for Valentines. And I never expect my Valentines tradition of being single to change (emphasized by the lack of entries for that date). He's not gonna get me anything, hell, I dont even know if he is still seeing anyone, so why even proceed to the thought of him doing anything for me.
So with that, I have limited contact with him. He wont notice. But then again he might and come hunt me down. Last time we saw each other, he hunted me down in the department, looking for me since I came back to my office and all. I will have to take the time to write up all of the messages he sent the last night I was at the club. He definitely wanted to be there but couldnt. Then last night we were up talking (on line of course) til 1 in the morning. I dont get it.
My mother insists that I just be forward and ask what all of this is about, and I have tried to do that before, and the question usually gets avoided somehow. Last night I stopped having the IM's forwarded to my cell phone. That took a lot of effort, since I just feel better being connected and knowing that someone is at least thinking about me. Now I have no idea unless I get behind the keyboard. But the real point is that I shouldnt have to do that. If he was really interested in me, we wouldnt be communicating like this. There is a reason he chooses to talk to me like this, and that we never physically see each other. Because he doesnt like me the way I wanted him to.
I suggest:
Kicking a habit is hard (why I am a young lush today). Party hard: drowning in shots of Bacardi Gold makes it easy to forget about text messaging, not to mention difficult to send one.