I weaved my way out
12:17 p.m. | 2006-09-08
Im such a pussy. After everyone said I needed to talk about what was going on with him (with my sister in the back yelling "just stop talking to him and move on!") I concocked a short story for him and laid it out that I was asked on a date and that there may not be any "benefits" between us. He was genuine and said he understood completely. And of course, that we are still good friends. Yeah cuz I would say no after that whole "I just want my friend back" rant he gave a few days ago about his ex. I feel bad about fibbing, but giving him an ultimatum like everyone suggested didnt feel appropriate. He made it quite clear he only wanted sex. You can like someone and not want to date them. I just wasnt "bring home to mother" material, whether it was because I was Black, fat or my breath smelled. Whatever the reason, I wasnt on that ladder, and I wanted off the "girls I can fuck" ladder. Well maybe Im not completely off. I just have to remember the short story. I cant let the web get out of control.
But why not? He never intended on dating me. It was funny that Chad asked about the last time that I had any action. He assumes it was last year, and I just played along. And then I was like, this is stupid. I know what I want, and Im not getting it. I knew this wasnt going anywhere, especially when he talked about her. He never asked to come over, never called, no nicknames or any kind... he wasnt into me. I still wonder what's going through his head, and if I "stop" dating this other "guy", then maybe he will come around. I doubt it though, I actually see him and her getting back together. He seems very attached still. Overall he doesnt know what he wants and I do.
I suggest: Cranapple-tini's are great for muggy nights and getting your creative web-weaving juices going.