am I trying to move on?
2:40 a.m. | 2006-09-15
um.... well with my pretend boyfriend, things arent what I would like them to be. Okay, it's bad enough that I had to have a "pretend" one. I've never called anyone a "boyfriend". He doesnt want that title with me. It hurts, considering there is some girl that has some equal qualifications (that still has to be verified, Im just assuming; fuck, my tits are bigger!), but he swears he's over it. He gave this long soliloquy about how he finally realized he was wasting his time trying to be friend with her. It's sad, I mean, I told him that people often say what they dont mean, and maybe she wasnt ready to be friends with him. He admitted that they will never be at that "normal" friends relationship that they used to have, and that he's tired of trying to get to that point. I was somewhat shocked and relieved. But he hasnt said what I want to hear, and I know deep down, Im not gonna be the girl that he's going to say it to. Im the last person he's thinking about bringing home to mom.
But I am trying. Im trying to be friends with him. The other night, I was drunk (hehehe Im buzzed now!), and I made this sad away statement for AIM:
"Im drinking... call me so Im not drinking alone"
He didnt call, but he said: "If I had a car, Id be there"
Are we friends?
I suggest: Go out to be out. Have fun knowing that things work out in the end. Especially when you want a nice drink:
NEW! Bacardi Lemon with Cranberry and a touch of Orange juice. (Probably not new, but whatever! Enjoy!)