not finished
10:28 p.m. | 2006-10-11
I never know who or what to listen to sometimes. I get so confused. And in the end I mess things up. I dont know if I should bother trying anymore. I put myself out there because I just dont feel that sitting around will make something happen. To be honest, it doesnt make a difference either way. I wasnt doing anything but being myself and some guy hit on my at work. An old man. And I think to myself, why? What is it with me? I cant think of a time when I got exactly what I wanted, when I felt like I was going to be okay for a change, that I would feel something real. I dont think that I ever will sometimes. It's just so hard to sit here and believe that soon I wont be by myself.
I came down here again, thinking that maybe I would have another chance. Why I dont know, I just hate that everyday we share words and never see each other and I cant help but feel that he's thinking of me. I wish he would really act on it though.