and it continues to progress... or digress... I dont know...
11:25 p.m. | 2006-11-20
It's been awhile, but I had to let things develop. Drew and I still speak over IM, and after my "break up" with the "boy", he started a small but futile campaign at getting me back into his bed. I will admit that I was tempted on one occasion to submit (to the point that I was showered and changing into my sexy knickers ;) ), however, his tactics are questionable and led me to believe that either he isnt confident in his own abilities/attractiveness/value, or that he thinks I am totally amoured and will do anything he asks. He invites, but immediately adds a disclaimer about what events might take place. That by signing this IM agreement to come to his house, I can not complain about not being entertained or treated with any type of respect or courtesy. To which I respond "I guess I will just stay over here", because I dont see the point in having that agreement. Added on to this is the invitation to lunch, which he again doesnt pay for. I read into this as communicating my status in his world, "nothing", and am content to merely banter with him over IM.
My question is (as it has always been) why continue to banter with someone who provides you with nothing valueable besides an occasional laugh? Why he invited to me lunch I have no clue. He talked about football and the horrible route that the SEC has taken in the past 5 to 6 years in player recruitment, how none of the SEC schools have any type of morals, ethics, and most importantly, traditions. And I sit there eating and thinking to myself, why am I listening to this bullshit?!? Of course UF doesnt have any traditions moron, it's a state school! It's not as old nor as prestigous as Yale, or his favored Notre Dame. And yes, Duke and Miami are for yuppies. We all know this, we have all KNOWN this, yet he insists on commenting on it. So I got maybe one minuet of spoken word in, about my work and school, which he barely responds to, and of course, the best news of attending an NFL game, what I thought he would be on the edge of his seat for, tossed aside like garbage with "yeah, you're lucky, cuz tickets are expensive now".
So now, with the short week because of the holiday, I will be left alone, with no banter. My parents finally got a divorce (for me, about 25 years to late, but whatever) and despite my knowledge of how my mother is, I invite her to join me for Thanksgiving at my apartment. Believe me when I say that I was not surprised to get her call on Sunday about not coming, that she was unable to find a rental car, in Jacksonville of all places (not to mention that she lives near the airport, the haven of most rental car retailers). So now I have to travel there, and I really dont want to. Knowing that I wont be in contact with most of my friends except through my cell phone, and that the one that I am focused on will not call to wish me and my family and happy Thanksgiving, like all of my other friends will. Although I was lucky the year before to have him send out a merry Christmas over IM while I was stuck in St. Augustine, I doubt that I will have the same luck again. I can only imagine what this week will be like. I know that he has been making short trips to visit his family, since he is driving his father's vehicle, and usually comes back to FL within two days (sadly enough, yes, I have noticed this).
But I have to mull over two things this week. One, whether or not to tell my mother about my "activities" over the past few months and to gleen advice from her (whether I would welcome it or not), and two, what his real intentions are. I cant imagine anyone investing this much time into another person just for sex, when there are ample females present, including an ex who when well intoxicated is known to knock on his door. It just doesnt make sense to have those opportunities available, and then to speak with this one lone person who isnt even in your social circle, let alone your side of town, to speak with them on a daily basis, and to invite on excursions, then later to expect them to come to you willingly to "cuddle" as he puts it.
If you can answer that, you're a genius and need to be on the Ophra show.
I suggest: Visiting friends give you an excuse to relive the good ol' days. Lemon Drop martinis are best, but if you want a real treat, have the shot at the Top, the best lounge in town.