Shot at 2010-03-01" width="800">
Girl Without History
04:17:54 | 2000-12-15
Ah, I like this wallpaper much better. This place finally looks like home.
Today, I finished my finals. I now must collect my paycheck, and enjoy three weeks of fun in the sun. Hopefully, anyway.
I am still a bit curious about my future. I am writing a story (if you did not know this, you can read it in the storybook), and in it, I wonder about the future of the characters. They are all older than me, already working and making a life for themselves. What troubles me is whether this will continue for them. I want to be where they are, but I have the feeling it will not be the same for me. When I read my old diary, 9the one I kept in junior high and high school), I see that nothing has really changed for me. I am still bitter, swimming in a circle.
I want to get out of this circle. I want things to change. I have tried everything imaginable: God, painting, writing, friends, volunteering. I dont know what is left for me. I am uncertain is it is where I am physically or mentally. I do like being in college, and then I really dont. I dont want to get older, but then I do. I am stuck in an eternal catch 22. ARRRGGHH!!!
I feel better being anonymous. I just feel free here on the net. There are no guidelines or rules. I think my main problem is getting my past behind me. I am determined to make a change in my life. I plan on getting some new piercings, and perhaps a few highlights in my hair. I am hoping this will get me started on the right path at least. This semester was hell; the next one will be mine. Seventeen credits will be mine, with A's and B'a, nothing less. I will work harder at school and at work. And I will not think about my past. My new focus is to make a future!!
They say it is best to know your past, to know where you have been, so as not to repeat your mistakes. You want to know what I say:
tee hee!!